


Changes the weather

by _space_ginger_ (MyOTPisCuterThanYours)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Flirting, Boys in Skirts, Crack Treated Seriously, Hux in a Dress, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mildly Bad Language, Pink Haired Hux, Underage Drinking, actual emo bitch kylo ren, also pink markers andlove letters, are we still glorifying those assholes, this is crack if you haven't noticed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9607892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyOTPisCuterThanYours/pseuds/_space_ginger_
Summary: Would just like to point out that this chapter contains bullying (to be specific Hux is being bullied for feeling comfortable with dressing androgynous)





	1. You know I could be just like you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheMilkMan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMilkMan/gifts).



*****

 

 _You're not going to die._ Hux knew that the pressure making his head ache like an vacuum going to explode was nothing more than the worst hangover he ever had. He just didn't like airplanes very much. _I'm going nuts in here_ , he looks for his watch and finds that he must have forgotten it. Or maybe his mother put it in his suitcase with the rest of his shit. _One more hour_ , squeezing his eyes shut he tries to ignore the pain or direct it somewhere else. O _ut of the window_ , he even pictures the absurdity and tries to remember how he had ended up here. Well, he knew exactly how he ended up on a plane back to US-fucking-A but what Hux was trying to find out was: W _hat have i done to deserve this?_ Eyes still shut -he couldn't handle bright light right now- he presses his burning forehead against his ice cold hands and attempts to reflect, to evaluate his current situation.

 

 

He remembers he had been thirdteen. Only him, Armitage Hux, only son of Brendol Hux and his decade younger wife, has ever gotten a glimpse behind the scenes of his parents pseudo-utopian family image. So it was no surprise to him to find out about their upcoming divorce. Even his imbecile mother had finally been fed up with her ex-husbands controlling behavior. His father, whom she had only married for his wealth, didn't treat his family with anymore respect than one of his underpaid employees. So Mrs. Hux took her son and a good amount of money which she had gotten via court and flew all the way back to Germany, where her own grandmother lies six feet under ground.

 

In the first few months his mother had been busier than ever before and Hux turned out to be alone most of the time, in a foreign country whose language he couldn't speak or understand. He didn't mind as much as he had assumed at first. He was capable, after all, to take care of himself.

 

He managed to keep his grades up, without the constant pressure of his parents and his classmates teasing about his grades only depending on his fathers influence. It should have satisfied him, should have made his stone cold heart swell of pride even but somehow it left him mostly uneffected.

 

It didn't matter that his father was all the way back across the ocean, where he can't watch Huxs every movement and judge him with his glaces. As long as he could remember he had been living under one roof with that man, who had spent most of their shared time reminding Hux of the huge failure that he was. Deep down he knew he could never be as cold, calculated or nearly as succesful as his father had been. That thought had been inserted in his mind so deep he was afraid his fathers words would never stop haunting his dreams. Hux's thirdteen year old self kept on pining, dreamt about fullfilling his fathers goals. To be better than him.

 

 

 _What a fool you've been_ , he holds back a chuckle. If he tried to laugh right now, he would most likely just puke the non-existing content of his stomach all over himself.

 

 

Two years ago, he stopped keeping up with his normal routine. He let himself go alittle. Just a little, not losing controll of himself completely. He had been 15 years old and his mother just let him do anything and whatever he wanted. A _teenagers dream_ , he presumed. It didn't last very long, however.

 

One evening his mother sat him down and gave him a long talk. That had probadly been the longest she has ever talked to him in his whole lifetime. She told him that it would be the best to sent Hux back to America to his father. Atleast that meant no more bad german televison series for him. At some point his patience got the better of him and he interupted her midsentence: "When will I leave?". She simply poured herself another glass of red wine. Was it her third? Hadn't it been barely noon? "Next week" she finally answered and with that the conversation was over.

 

 

Now the panic really starts coming up. _It can't take much longer_ , soon he will have to face his father. _Breath, breath deep through your nose. It will be alright._ His father will probadly disagree with the chances Hux has resently made regarding his styling. But he will refuse to cut his hair. It felt utterly liberating when he changed the one thing about himself that made most people realize he was his fathers son. Without his mothers consent or knowledge he had dyed his hair pastell pink. He told her that at age 16 he should be allowed to embrace his personality as he wishes and she agreed him, the phony bitch. She was still holding her new "cool mum" persona alive even though they both knew they wouldn't see eachother for a longer period of time.

 

He spent his last days of freedom with drinking, mostly. Hux had sneaked out at night more often than not (which his mother all seemingly ignored, as if she didn't care about her own reputation) The day before he left he puked on his mothers expensive white carpet. As a last goodbye so to say. He didn't even sober up alittle before he entered the plane. That's how he ended up here, with his brain slowly melting and silently praying for the plane to crash or explode or both at the same time.

 

 _So much about being disgraceful,_ he lets himself sulk at it for a while. He did this to himself. _Yes_ , he smirks all by himself, _but it was worth it_. _I should have kept a diary of some sort,_ he considers it. Sitting on his bed every evening with a glittery pen in his hand. Those with red ink and soft fake hair on top. _Don't be ridiculous Hux_ , he reminds himself and the flight attendant announced that they would shortly be landing in his beloved sun state california. Hux didn't have a single patriotic bone in his body but right now he feels a weight lift of his heart as he sees he is finally home. He even internalizes the view he has from this perspective as if it's his last day on earth. _I could be_ , he asks himself whether his father will pick him up personally. Fifteen hours ago his mothers driver had brought him to the airport in Berlin and after the flight he will probadly be greeted by his fathers staff. He tries not to feel too bitter about it.

 

 

*****

 

 

_I could be mean mhhh,_ drumming his pencil onto the notebook infront of him Kylo stares out of the window. It was a fairly warm day in September and the leaves on the trees still shined in a perfect green, not grumpling a little bit. _Can't it just be Fall already,_ he let the pen drop on the desk and noted that no, he still didn't feel like paying attention in history class. It's not like he couldn't ust read the damn textbook by himself. He also had a song madly stuck in his head and there was no way fighting it. _Mmhh know i could be just like youuu,_ Kylos thoughts always mounted up to a point where he was just staring stupidly into the nothing of the classroom, mouth open or chewing on his star wars pen. He didn't hear it when his teacher announced a new student. He also didn't hear the door opening.

 

"Everybody this is-" the teacher started but was interrupted by a rather loud cough. "Hux is the name i would prefer to be called." That someone spoke in a elegant way, the tone of each word standing alone, no mumbling like Kylo often does. His voice was also pretty high pitched, atleast compared to Kylos deep, vibrating voice. Kylo looked up to see who that voice belonged to. _The name was fimiliar._ His curious brown eyes skipped from the stardled look on the teachers face next to her _\- Wait!_ He emmidiantly felt his shoulders tense. _Could it be? That's crazy..._

 

"Alright Hux... Why don't you sit there in front of Kylo." _Well, there probadly aren't many rich assholes that go by that last name and happen to be a redhead._ Except, Kylo notices, this ginger wasn't really ginger anymore. Kylo stared at the _pink pink pink_ infront of him. Hux already scanned Kylo with his eyes, not meeting his glaze but still provoking in a way. Like he wanted to test him. Hux pushed his shoulders back even more and walked -with a slight swing in his hips- towards the empty spot in front of Kylo. _Tssk_ , he thought, N _obody normally dares to sit near him. There are other free spaces oh lord why why why_

 

Taking a deep breath and then letting it out as a silent sigh as he takes a closer look at the other boy. _Maybe he just has the exact same last name. His face wasn't th_ _e most_ _memorable._ Everything else didn't seem like the boy he used to hang out with sometimes. _Well if you could call it that way._ The two of them mostly spent their time with their shared friend Phasma. The blonde was the only thing they ever had in common. Overwise they hated eachother. Well, atleast Hux hated him.

 

 _No no no don't think about it right now,_ Kylo opened his notebook before he could feel himself turn red and began to doodle on one of the pages he had reserved especially for doodeling. This time it didn't save him, however. _He looks so different though_ , he watches the straightened back of the boy and his lean shoulders where his now pink hair ends in soft waves and forgets the thing he wanted to sketch a second ago. _It's too hot in here to think straight_

 

It still feels like summer, especially if you wore all black like Kylo did. And to be fair it was very humid in the classroom. _But surely no other boy wore a skirt to school_. It wasn't exactly against the schools regulation or unusual in his hometown but he wondered if Hux knew this. The skirt he was wearing was high waisted and almost knee lenght in the front. The black, almost translucent fabric in back ran done towards his ankles. Kylo had a hard time believing this wasn't some strange, strange dream he had. _What would that say about me?_ Kylo stared at the clock again and back at Hux.

 

There wasn't so much space between them so Kylo had a good look at the back of his head, where he had some of the hair pulled together in a bun. Some single strans were falling out and some of those were tightly braided and hang there in an artistic manner. Kylo felt abit jealous about that detail. He wanted to grow his hair to shoulder lenght for so long now and it just didn't grow fast enough. If it was long enough he could learn how to braid it, too. _It looks cute_

 

Hux must have felt him staring holes through his body and lets out a sigh as he grew tired of it. "Is there something you want to say?" he turned around and raised both eyebrows at him. Kylo noticed the small twitch around his mouth like a sneer. Maybe that was his reaction to Kylos smudged black eyeliner but Kylo would never know. "I ehh am- was" he began to stammer without knowing what he wanted to say. Usually, he would always come up with something witty to say. Hux smirked at him and Kylo could feel the embarrassment run through his veins. 1:0 for the pink bastard. _Hopefully nobody notices ...Have an image to maintain_.

 

 

"What's your name?" Hux almost-whispers and Kylo notices the change in his voice. It doesn't sound right, less like a sigh and more like a honest question. _So he doesn't reconize me. Good._ "Kylo Ren" he spoke seriously, confident to get it right this time. It wasn't always easy having such a cool name. Others with boring names couldn't understand that. "Pleasure" Hux forced a cough again, holding back a laugh. "Ah yeah and who are you trying to cosplay?!" Kylo could feel himself getting angry at him now. Hux barked out a quick fake laugh. _He can't handle my sassy combacks._ As if he could read Kylos mind, Hux puts on a serious expression, acting like he had to think of an answer: "Kisumi Shigino". Kylo had no idea who that was but if it was some dickhead villain from an fantasy anime it fit him quite well. _He hasn't changed a bit. Still an arse with a bad sense of humor._

 

Hux is still watching him like he is waiting for something in return and since kylo can't think of anything else to say he just snaps an "go fuck yourself" which came out louder than he intended to. "Ben, how about you go to the principle and tell her that you would rather insult new students and make an bad impression than listen to my lessons." _Well, fuck._ Kylo stood up, counting from ten backwards while grabbing his stuff. He shot Hux one last angry glare before walking out of the classroom. _8, 7, 6._ Hux looked rather unimpressed by the outing of his true identity. 4, 3, 2. _Dammit._ "And my name is. Not. Ben." he roared at the teacher making some of the students jump in their seats and slammed the door shut.

 


	2. "Do you need like... a ride?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would just like to point out that this chapter contains bullying (to be specific Hux is being bullied for feeling comfortable with dressing androgynous)

His throat felt dry as desert sand, the air in the hallway appeared sticky compared to well air conditioned office Kylo had to spent the last twelve minutes listening to endlessly boring lectures about unviolent problemsolving and the power of insults by his uncle, who happened to be the trust teacher. It was now lunchtime and his uncle had made the wise decision to let Kylo leave on time. The annoyed teenager made his way to the cafeteria, his eyelids feeling heavy not only because of the tiring boredom but also because the flashing daylight made his eyes burn.

 

Finally, he arrives at the cafeteria and turns towards the spot he normally would sit, the corner by the trashcan. Nobody bothered him there bacause of the harsh smell of rotten fat and sugary drinks that bothered the other students. Strangly, Kylo didn't mind it all that much. In fact he was glad that it kept the other students away. Having a special talent to hold his breath very long, he could endure it. _The secret is_ , he had explained to Phasma, who had been quite disturbed because of the situation, _the secret is to not want to live at all_. She had only laughed at him, and under her rapid breathing Kylo thought he heard something about himself belonging in the trash, too.

 

Kylo stopped in his tracks, his thoughts and feet coming to an halt at the same time. _Today seems to be an exceptionally irritating day,_ he narrowed his eyes and his expression became sour in annoyence. He could be very calm if he wanted to .Mostly because he didn't care enough about most things to react. But this morning seemed to be full of bizzare coincidences **.** First, he gets reminded of the most emberrasing phase of his life in the most unpleasent way. And now, much to Kylos dislike, he finds even more undeserved trouble awaiting him. Rather than his expected (and well-earned, justified) peace... A _bso-fucking-lutely not my day_ , he dragged himself towards the bunch of the older students coming his way. They reminded Kylo a bit like the typical schoolbully they show on TV, except those dicks were real and were now walking right up to him. _Ignorant fucking conformists,_ Kylo felt himself digging his nails into his handball, _never get the justice that they deserve._

 

Insisting on not trying to appeal smaller than he is, which he normally does to hide the fact that he has enourmnous long limbs, Kylo maked himself look wider by tensing his broad shoulders, braced himself taking a deep breath and flexed his jaw. He has had alot of practise and knew how to intiminate those who cross his way. But as soon as he passed the tree students, they walked right past him. _Totally ignored him,_ it felt like he was made out air. _That's new,_ was the only thing that came to mind. Still confused, Kylo tries to make out where they really were aiming their attention at and unsuprisingly their new tarked was his feminine looking _fremeny, Hux._

 

"Hey princess where is your boyfriend?" then he reached them he could hear one of them shouting in Huxs direction, who was currently struggling with the broken vending mashine trying to get a snack. _Oh how original,_ he thought loudly at the dumb oneliner. Kylo had been called worse things in the past. So has Hux probadly. One of them whistled and they moved towards him as Hux seemingly didn't react to their nosemaking. "Did you hear me sucker?!" The bigger asshole of them growled and sounded alot less playful now. Kylo had had enough.

 

He walked, _stalked_ faster between Hux and those wannabe predetors before one of them could make the homophobic remark Kylo knew was coming. He hit the first one as hard as he could in the nose with his left fist, the other hand grapped his shirt to jank him toward Kylos chest again. He could even smell his cheap aftershave. Everything happened abit to fast for him to comprehent. Asshole #2 threw a punch towards Hux who slipped out of the way and the guy ran face first against the vending mashine, hugging the hard plastic and falls to the floor. _That would be two damaged noses._

 

The one Kylo stills holds by the collar of his shirt tries to free himself waving his hands around, Kylo pulled him forward and spit the words in his face, "You want to end up like the last punk who pissed _me_ off?!! You absolute-" "BEEENSOLO" the history teacher came towards them with a red face and angry expression. _My name is NOT Ben Solo! Ben wasn't any better than those dickheads..._

 

The teacher stopped and waved his hands around in all directions. Kylo let go of the guy, pushed the him out of the way. He fell ass first on the ground holding his hand to stop the bledding from his nose. _Funny, how i don't even know their names,_ he watched Hux pick up the book he had dropped and noticed how tightly he held his bag around his chest. But he wasn't trembling, shaking or making much of an expression on his face. Kylo wasn't sure what to make out of it. He looked neither amused nor freightened. His face had an absolute neutral expression on it, _keeping it professional_. Kylo wondered what he was thinking. "Please Sir, Ren was only defending himself." Hux stated like he was talking about something he has watched from far far away. As if he had seen it in the movies. _But he got my name right_ "I don't care! Everybody gets Detention. E-spe-cially you" he stuttered and pointed at Kylo, almost tipping his finger on the boys chest and then storms off again.

 

"Ben Solo, huh? I knew it was you." Hux crept past the escaping bullie towards him, "So... What happened to that kid _that pissed you off_?" Hux teased and a smirk travelling along his lips. Could that be... _curiousity?_ His eyes looked like mirrows without anything to reflect on. "You killed him, or what?" Kylo gulped. _He's being serious?_ "Ofcourse not. I stabbed him in the hand with a fork". Kylo forgot his rage, wanted to show him how dangerous he was. Hux simply rolled his eye and turned to leave again, the skirt he had almost forgotten swinging like a cape or something. _It's his fault I got detention,_ Kylo watched as Hux was leaving, _had to listen to my uncles' hippie bullshit. Why did I help him anyway?_ Hux turned around one last time before leaving, mouth open to say something and caught Kylos staring at him. His face went a slightly darker shade of pink than usually and spoke less stiffly now, "You're so dumb. Thank you anyway."

 

 

*********

 

 

 _Detention_. Armitage Hux hadn't gotten detention since Middleschool. _Only since Phasma made me hangout with that bastard Ben._ Hux considered himself lucky. His father still was on his buissness trip, so he crashed the couch in his friend dorm room. But he thought about quitting the neaking out and in. He didn't want to get into anymore trouble than he already was in.

 

Brushing the hair outof his face he looks around the classroom, observing the other students he has to share an hour of penelty with. _Ah, the usual suspects,_ as he watched the four teenagers next to him. The two charming young men that approached him earlier in the cafeteria. It's a shame this school forces the victim, him in this scenario, to spent time alone with his assaulters. _An incident could happen_ , he smiles at the caretaker that just came into the room, I could snap their fucking necks. "Alright, mhh... Your teacher told me i should let you help me with some cleaning. Nothing heavy just clean the mess in the cafeteria.", he scans their faces like they were real criminals.

 

They make their way to the cafeteria and Hux watches the third boy, a starnger to him but a fairly handsome one. He spontanously decides to walk up to him. "You don't necessarily look like someone who causes a lot of trouble", Hux purred and a charming smile appears on the strangers face and his eyes shined warm against his bronze skin. "You neither." he answers kindly and Hux can hear in the tone of his voice that he is not only being polite, but is very likely being nice to everybody he meets. That suddenly makes him lose his interest. "Well, i am more or less the actual victim here." he could hear Kylo snicker beind him and resisted to shot him a look.

 

They arrive at the now empty cafeteria and Hux begins lazily picking up trash from the tables. These were not the kind of things he wanted to be efficient at. He heard Kylo behind him, practically following him around the room. He really wasn't in the mood to fight with him, which always used to happen when they hang out together. Then suddenly the idiot sat down on the table Hux was just leaning over to clean. Strains of his hair fell back into his face again and he couldn't determind anymore what he found the most irritating about this situation. The heat? You could get used to that. The smell? It only got less intense over time. But Ren was just alawys there and you couldn't wish him away. As if Ren could sense his annoyence he stated "I just think you should know that Dameron has a boyfriend. Before you emberrass yourself or something. Ah, him. Well, a _tleast that explains his distant tone_ , he threw the rag after Kaylo in an attempt to silence him _._ "Who said I was interested in him?" he hissed, almost a whisper and Ren contered, crossing his arms, "Oh please. You looked like you wanted to climp him." "Shut the fuck up Ren I swear to god" "Like. A. Tree." _Enough_ "It's none of your buissness Kylo or whatever you choose to call yourself now. Grow the fuck up." Ren looked disappointed, probaply expected a longer recital about his bad personality traits and overall flaws. But Hux still wasn't in the mood and he found it typical that Ren actually had his fun playing this game.

 

It stays silent for a while, Hux can catch up on his work so they can finally leave. He gets caught off guard, jumps when he hears something break across the room. From what he can detect here, Ren had used his broom and smashed it against a chair, cracking the wood. The dark haired boy looked furious, but he wasn't directing his rage against anyone specific in perticula r. So Hux decided to ignore it as good as he can. It doesn't work. He watched as Ren started to hit one of the bullies with the broken broomstick. And the other one joins and they start to fight, Ren swinging the goddamn broom around like a sword and ends up hitting himself in the eye. Hux thinks he's being a drama queen but he still walks him to the nurse.

 

 

*****

 

 

At home Kylo definetely didn't write in his diary about Hux. He also absolutely did not go and stalk Hux on facebook. He also wasn't disappointed when he found nothing about him on the internet. He tried real long to google the character Hux had mentioned to him earlier and found that Hux must have been really sarcastic about this one. If Hux were an hot, pink-haired anime character he would probadly be Saya Takagi from Highschool of the dead. Not that Kylo watched that, too. Because he didn't. Obviously.

 

Bored now, because he slept too much in classes and not enough at night, he decided to text Phasma. It had been a while since the last time they talked. She went to some kind of elite sport school.

 

KyLo_Red666: P, im booored

KyLo_Red666: What r u up 2?

KyLo_Red666: I know ur awake lmao

 

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Dude it's 3 am... What should I be up to?

xX_Phsm@_Xx: I was trying to sleep I hope it's important

KyLo_Red666: Y didn't you tell me about Huxley moving back?

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Why would you care?

 

Kylo didn't know, honestly. It shouldn't be his buissness but somehow it is. It's been one day and Kylo has had detention, a big scratch on his face and wrote one of the worst diary entries of this month, definetely.

 

KyLo_Red666: We share classes now for fucks sake

KyLo_Red666: I can't stand him

KyLo_Red666: He got me detention on like the very first day

KyLo_Red666: How does he even have friends How do you spent time with him please explain??

xX_Phsm@_Xx: idk I am friends with you too after all :P

KyLo_Red666: Whats thta suppoesed to mean?

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Chill Kylo, you are both insufferable. Also don't become obssessed again

KyLo_Red666: I will stop talking to you now

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Fine

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Let's hang sometimes, Next weekend?

KyLo_Red666: Sure whaevr

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Love you ;)

 

 _I wonder if she still is in contact with the asshole and didn't tell him. Hux wouldn't want her to give him his number._ It were moments like this he wished he could read minds. Use the force like his greatest idol. He could just find out whatever he wanted to know. His mother couldn't lie to him anymore and Hux wouldn't be so hard to understand. After all, Kylo was supposed to be the mysterious one at school.

 

*********

 

Like Kylo had perdicted, Hux was becoming a serious competitor for Kylo and not only in class (Kylo didn't care about grades, only his own writing) but also when it came to being _the non-conformative one^tm_. Everyone in this  Purgatory they called a learning institution wore mainstream clothes and listened to awful music. Kylo thought he had stood out.

 

The next day he was sitting in Sociology class and stared at the pink, fluffy mess infront of him, asked himself how it has come to this. Kylo even made a list of things that could lead the great Son of Commandant Brendol Hux to have such an drastic change in appearance.

  1. Rebellious teen phase (somewhat likely?)

  2. Abducted by aliens

  3. It's a clone (hopefully not)




 

Kylo didn't know. Right now he tried his best to stay awake in class, which wasn't easy with his head resting on his already numb upper arm. _I should have slept last night_. Concentrating on Hux to try and catch his breathing motion seemed like much more fun at the moment. Sleepdeprived and before he could stop himself he reached forward to play with one of his loose curls, accidently brushing across the thin fabric on his shoulder. Hux turned around, acted like he had only been tipped on the shoulder by a normal person and not a fucking creep like Kylo. He tried to be thankful for that.

 

The first thing that comes to his mind. "Umm...Do you have a marker?" Kylo asks biting on his lip furiously like the future of the universe depends on Huxs' answer to that question. "A marker?" "Yes. A red one." Hux raised his eyebrows abit at that and started searching his bag for it while slowly shaking his head. For some reason Rens heart skipped a beat. Hux turns around and gives him a pink marker. A pink one. _Is this thing supposed to be pink or is this really red,_ he thought and stared at the opject in his tightened fist. _Why has the universe turned itself against me?_

 

When Kylo pushed the small bit of a fringe he has out of the way he notices that Hux had already turned around to keep on writing notes done. He waited a few seconds and as he couldn't make out Huxs breathing again, mused that he must have turned back into stone, _his natural form._ With a pen and the _pink_ marker he drew a small Darth Vader at the end of the page. Now he could reconize that the colour of the marker clearly wasn't red and it made him angry. What kind of lightsaber would be pink?

 

Suddenly a note appeared on his desk like the wind blew it there and he saw Hux bluntly turning around again like a blushing school girl. He unfolded the piece of paper carefully. It said "Do you have a car?" _What is this? Ist he actually asking for a favour?_ Kylo smirked at himself, feeling confident again "Yes" he wrote in large letters and considered writing " _why? doesn't posh boy have one?"._ But if he wrote it like that he would never find out. "Do you need like... a ride?" he wrote instead because that's probadly what Hux meant to say. "I guess you own me one for all the shit you put me through." _That little bastard_ , he aggressivly wrote "I will be at your service" and added a small drawing of a raised middle finger. The second the other boy reads this he turns around to narrow his eyes at Kylo and shook his head again. That seemed to be his Ren-You-Are-An-Idiot expression. Kylo wanted to start a real conversation but chatting in class was what got them into trouble the first time. Technically. _Maybe I could sent him anther note_ , he planned but at the end of the class he still had no idea what to write.

 


	3. Death Wish, anyone?

They exited the classroom at the exact same time and walked across the parking lot next to each other like it was the most natural thing of the world to them. Well, it was kinda awkward for Kylo because they still did not speak when they both sat in Kylos old Ford Granada. His father had torn the car apart and put it back together twice already and that's just how good the damn thing works. The radio has been ripped out and replaced by his iPod. The window cleaners are missing, too. Kylo likes to think his parents just let him drive the junk (and act like it was special to them) because they secretely want him to die a horribly death, which already makes three of them. Also there is an old, long forgotten packet of cookies in the place where the cars' papers should have been. If the police stops them it's everything he has to offer to them.

 

"How come you don't have a car? Or a ride?" he finally asks while driving backwards to get out of the parking lot. Hux slightly tilted his head to the side and stared outside of the window as he let out a sigh like he was wondering when his husband would return from the war. It's irritating how often he does that. _Used to do_ that, he corrected himself but it's like three years haven't passed at all. "I didn't get the chance to make my licence in Germany because you have to be seventeen." _Germany? Did he say Gemany?_ "I thought you only left the city or something..." Hux laughed again, it sounded more honest this time. But still kind of distant and sardonic.

 

"No it had to be the entire fucking continent. Why not? I would leave this planet, too, if I could." Kylo took a glimpse at Hux, who was pulling his legs up to re-tie his shoes. He was wearing ivory-white shorts today. "What was it like?" he asked, suprised by his own interest "Why do you want to know?" he prounonced the ' _you'_ with an extra amount of bitterness. "Why not?" Kylo imitated his annoyed tone and grinned when Hux furrowed his eyebrows. It wasn't the best comeback but it's one of those little things that make Huxs facade crack. The thought that Kylo wasn't even trying must have annoyed him more than he would like to admit. Kylo was a bit disappointed when Hux just fucking sighed again

 

"Sorry, alright. It had been a shit day. In fact, you're the only person who treated me alright in the past two days, I guess. Which is insane if you think about it. Yes, you even defended me, which I don't understand. Seems kind of ironic doesn't it? Paradox even." Kylo stared at his shotgun and Hux looked out of the window, shying away from the eye contact. _How irregualar_ "I am not a little child anymore. I changed." he stated, more to himself than to Hux, who snorted. "You still have those little tantrums of yours. And the nurse did not look very suprised to see you that day. To me it seems like you haven't changed much ... Besides that strange name you gave yourself!" Kylo made an offended noise as he concentrated on turning right without the car giving up on him. "Look those spaking. The weirdo that only uses his last name."

 

Hux relaxed in his seat again, seemingly calming himself. "I don't know what's wrong with that. I always got called that name. And I didn't make it up." Kylo grabbed the wheel a bit tighter now growling "I didn't just make it up. And it doesn't matter how long I want to be called that way. So respect that." He hated that nobody would ever listen to him without making fun of his life choices. "You're right I guess." Hux paused, smirked at him. "So you found it on some scene name generator or what? Was CryLowBen69 already taken on myspace?" Kylo shot him a glace that dared him to say some one more offensive thing but Hux stopped, finally realizing he shouldn't piss off the person that drove his sorry ass home all too much. And Kylo also knew he shouldn't get to distracted while driving this deathbringing trashcan around town. He tried to count again, _one two three,_ but before he could make it to five he had to have the last word.

 

"Well atleast my life isn't one big fucking clishee. That whole fucking 'rich kid that was raised by controlfreaks and turned out to be a sociopath' thing just fits you too well. Don't you think?!" Kylo chuckled at himself and Hux emmediantely turned his head and tried to look more angry than hurt. "Oh how sad, much poor me. My name is Crylow Ren and I have a loving family that cares about my wellbeing..." Hux blocked the sun from shining in his eyes with the back of his hand and leaned towards Kylo. " What a fucking tradgedy."

 

Now it was Kylos turn to shake his head and laugh. "What are you laughing about?" Hux asked and it sounded more tender in Kylos mind than Hux probadly had intended. _Oh yeah_ , he thought, I _must be very sleepy._ "Just thought about how big of an arse you actually are. Then I remembered your unlucky chidhood and it filled me with joy" Kylo fake grinned and drummed the beat to some Fall Out Boy song on the starrring wheel. Hux crossed his arms in front of his flat chest, loosing his grip of himself. "How dare you! Y-you insufferable wannabe punk."

 

"Pff... I am NOT a wannabe. It's not nice to call someone a poser in their own... car." Kylo was actually too tired to defend himself. "Fuck you Ren. I'm not the one trying to be someone else. You are. I bet you still step on anything good you have in life, you pesimistic brat. You do all of this just to justify you wearing eyeliner and having an sour expression all day." Hux scoffed and stared out of the window again. "Ha" Kylo spat out loud and then broke down into real laughter. "I have an sour expression? Have you seen your resting bitchface lately? I mean, when you aren't licking the boots of some teacher to give you a better grade." He knew he hit a nerve there but Hux remainded calm for his own sake. "You truly are a child. You understand just as much as you did back then. Hell, you probadly aren't much more mature than you were the last time you shitted into your dipers." Kylo squinted at the sun and noticed the headache coming up thanks to that son of a bitch. "Do not call me that. I'm bigger than you anyway" Hux shook his head totally forgetting to sigh right now, like he would usually do. If he only had the patience. "Or what? You're gonna fight me? How ironic would that be, mhh? Giving _me_ detention for escalating a situation that was perfectly fine under my control, anyway. Only for the purpose of me not getting any physical harm? And now you try to intimitate me?" Hux almost shouted "I will not be provoked by an attention seeking toddler. I refuse."

 

"Like you were a better person than me? You are a cold, sarcastic, antisocial bitch. If someone ever wanted to spend more than an hour with you and genuintly enjoyed it, they would either have to be masochistic or a fucking necromaniac." Hux scoffed "Oh please Ren tell me more about your unwanted opinion about me. It really boosts my ego." Kylo turned red instantly for more than one reason that he didn't like. He said nothing for a while and then Hux said nothing in return he thought he could just ignore him until he could drop him on the sidewalk infront of the massive mansion he must live in. He wondered why he hadn't kicked his companion out sooner. _God this drive felt like an enternity_

 

"You know what's fun?" Kylo asked, dared to look at the still brooding not-ginger next to him. "What?" Hux said it like ' _why are you like this'_ and less like ' _oh yes pl_ ease explain' but for Kylo it was good enough. "Well, you remember back then how we always met up at my place with Phasma and spent the whole day like... insulting eachother and it was the most fun both of us had all week? Because honestly, we both didn't have anything better to do. And the crazy part is that after not seeing eachother for so long... We just keep on where we stopped, practically." Kylo was more amazed by the coinscience that both of them ended up on the same small place on earth again, at the same time. But Hux didn't seem to buy it. "That is everything but not fun or amazing. It's unhealthy for one, you maniac. And if I lowered myself down to spent my precious time with you, I definetly wouldn't waste it with something as childish as fighting with you." Hux seemed abit of a mess, words coming out way too quickly. He was still pissed.

 

"Oooh... Flirtation won't get you anywhere Huxy. It cannot conceal your true forms-" Hux made an offended noise "Flirting with you? How desperate exactly do you think i am?" he huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, bickering again. Flustered Hux, Kylo discovered, was his new favourite Hux. _Which is much of a thought after spending two day together._ He searched Huxs face for eye contact. _That's what I imagine a mirrow without a reflection_ would look like, he caught himself wondering again. "Mhh... Why so tense about this?"

 

"Be careful Ren..." Hux warned sounding even more annoyed as before, _if that's possible_ "Or what? What are you going to do?" Huxs eyes widened as he began to sound more panicked and less annoyed "Ren! Eyes on the road" Kylos glace shot back forwards but it was too late. The car in front of them had suddenly slowed down and Kylo hadn't noticed. Luckily they weren't driving very fast but they still bumped right in the back of the car infront of them as they stood. _Fuck fuck fuck he was so dead._

While Kylo was close to having a tantrum Hux just kept on, well being himself. "Do you have some kind of death wish? I'm sure you do but you shouldn't force me into some dramatic double suicide." Who is the dramatic one here? Who the fuck is the dramatic one here?! "Well shit my mum will _kill_ me when she finds out about this" Ren cried and Hux just kept defending his pride to hide how nervous he was "You're lucky I'm alive or else my parents would have sued your entire family." Something about Hux bickering made him less worried but he still wanted him to shut the hell up "We just bumped into the frontman, Hux. In a slow speeding limit. Nothing could have happened. So calm down, Malfoy." Hux made an tsk noise "If you say so but just so you know in case of an emergency I would just left your unconscious, bleeding ass lying on the street like a dead rat." He almost shouted again "You-" He stopped as he saw Huxs horrified face again. It was similiar to the one before and it didn't feel good to see even him being shocked so often in a short period of time. _tab tab tab._ They heard what must have been the owner of the car they crashed into knocking on the right window and Kylo opened it slightly... O _kay a bit more_ and stared at the man.

  
  


He was old. Kylo wasn't sure how old but it must have been very old judged by his ancient sounding voice. "Greetings boys" he started off like he already knew them. Kylo was sure he never saw the man before. "Well, I guess we could say this whole situation is a bit unpleasant for the both of us." His eyes burned through Hux and when he he looked back at Kylo, who was just as speechless as his companion. "I believe we can handle this without the police, alright? I know who your parents are. It would be the best they never find out about this aswell. Is that understood." "Yes sir", they both spoke almost at the same time, Hux sounding braver than he really was and Kylo just relieved that he didn't have to handle the cops right now.

The stranger left without another word and they waited until the van they bumped into drove away and around the corner. For a while they had been silent, like they just watched a movie and waited for the final credits to finish so that they could leave. Until one of them breaks the silence "He...That guy had like... a dead body or something in that trunk" Kylo stuttered as he drived as fast as the speed limit in this area would allow it."Oh don't be ridiculous Ren". _Just keep driving and breath, relax._ Hux told him they were almost at their desired destination and he was very happy to not see Hux for atleast 18 hours. "You are right Hux. This can't be healthy" Hux looked at him, one eyebrow raised but he wasn't throwning this time. "So we both must be masochists." Kylo giggled and after a while of laughing Hux couldn't held it back anymore.

Kylo parked in the street Hux told him he lived in and before he could disappear he asked "Are you still in contact with Phasma?" The smaller boy stepped out of the car and leaned down towards him. "Of course Ren. I like her much more than you do, you know." Ren already knew that. "Sure, you do. But Phasma never told me. That traitor." Hux waited a moment, stared at him again. "Why would you care?" Something about that bothered Kylo. Can people just. Stop. Asking. Him. That. Question. It bothered him even more that Phasma had actual access to Hux over the past years. He never asked her about him so it wasn't really fair to be mad or jealous. Was he jealous? He was disappointed. The both of them favouring eachother over Kylo... The two of them had always been the closest thing to friends to him.

 


	4. Mint Car

"You did WHAT?!" Kylo had dropped the news as soon as he entered the kitchen, opened the fridge and took a diet coke out. He opened the can, repeating himself: "I bumped the car into a tree. It's just a scratch. One more of those won't really stick out.",aggresively slammed the refridgerator shut, suddenly not hungry anymore. "And I'm fine by the way, whatever." He rolled his eyes, resisting to scratch his eyes to not smudge the black kayal and turned to leave. His father just continued read his newspaper and mumbled something under his breath, having given up long, long ago with his attempts to argue with his son. Everyday Han hoped 'Sooner or later this phase will be other". _Well, guess what_ , Kylo ran up to his room, _It's not a god damn phase_. When his mother got home he would have to listen to another wise lecture about his bad behaviour feat rude comparisons to Rey, the perfect cousin and family person. Kylos heart rate increases and he slammed the door like the mad emo child he is, making his Fall out boy poster fall of. He turned his head as if somebody could be watching him, picked it up and placed a small kiss on Pete Wentzs forehead.

  
  


  
  


Like expected, Kylo gets grounded for the car accident (Leia's words) by his mother. He told here over and over again that he had only hit a tree. A TREE and not a child or grandma crossing the street. Being grounded for him only meant a Star Wars marathon by himself, anyway. So he didn't actually mind his so called _punishment_. _My parents are SO dumb it hurts sometimes,_ he thought as he pushed play, sat back and waited for the best soundtrack in the world to start. _My mother is even worse than Hux_ , Kylo decided he would drastically ignore the both of them from now on.

 

Over the weekend, Hux never made any attempts at apologizing, even though Kylo couldn't think of a real reason for it. Or a way for him to do that, unless he sent him a letter, handwritten with fresh blood instead of ink. No, he really shouldn't expect such an apology. But it still made him angry, somehow. He wanted the other boy to make the first move, to show some kind of regret. He should not care a single bit but something made him to want Hux to feel guilty. Guilty for making him feel like an idiot.

 

If you asked the people close to Kylo they would tll you that he is a reckless, little egoist. That he only ever cared about himself and not what over people think of him. But still, Kylo carried a lot of bad self esteem hidden away behind his rude attitude. All he wanted was for people to try harder, to listen to him, to understand. Right now he wanted Hux to do all of those things.

 

 

*********

 

 

At first, Hux did his best to ignore Kylo, to act like he didn't notice his pounting. He ignored the obnoxious staring, the way he always lungered around him... But when caught him putting a note on his dek saying 'I'm not talking to you" he had had enough. He had built eye contact with Ren as he threw the piece of paper in the trash and the taller boy had looked like he was about to cry. 'You have to do something to get your the old Ren back.', Phasma had written.

 

But Hux wouldn't talk to him, no not ever. He would excape that situation before it even started. He didn't even know what exactly Rens issue was. Phasma told him to buy him a present of some sort for his birthday. Hus believed that was how you dealt with a child, not an adult. Giving them a new toy so they stop bothering you. _That's what mother would do, w_ hat a strange way to think about it.

 

 

Hux sat in the dark of his still very empty bedroom, only the light from the laptop display illuminating the soft features of his pale face. What he needed was to find a good idea for a present. _What do Emos even like?_ He wondered and typed into Google 'How to befriend an emo boy". He clicked on the first result, a wikihow article '6 steps to talk to emo boys." Not really what he was looking for, but he still skimmed through it. He also read the second arcticle "Ten steps to get an scene boyfriend" Defenitly not what he was looking for. But it was helpful. He could just get him fanmerch to one of those silly pop punk bands. Hopefully they have sizes that fit him, with all those 12 year olds that go to their shows.

 

Soon he found something suitable, went to the nearest Hot Topic to get it and two day later he made his way to Kylo's house, he knew that the other boy still lived in that same house, to give him his "apology" before he could head off to school.

 

He still was way too early and decided to smoke a cigarette, while he waited for Kylo to finish his eyeliner or something. Hux even hid behind a tree so his parents couldn't see him, definetly not to surprise Kylo. He didn't have to hide, because Kylo couldn't run away from him like this. He couldn't make a scene or his parents would notice.

 

When the door opened and Kylo came out, wearing all black (how unexpected), he jogged to the car with the big bulge in the front. His mum must have given him house arrest or something like that. _Why do they still let him drive that thing?_ Hux could see where Kylo got his abilty of logical thought from... _It had been 4 years and we weren't even real friends,_ he took a long drag from the mentol cigarette, _but if I remember one thing, it's that Ben's dad was even a bigger idiot than Kylo is._

 

Throwing the thought away, Hux quickly turned to step in front of the car, nearby the bulge. Kylo seemed to be suprised to see Hux. His eyes waitened for a split second but when his mouth turned into a sour grimace, showing off the pure annoyence he must feel. _What an impact to have,_ he smirked at Kylo instead of greeting him, proceeded to smoke and watch him. "What are you doing here? What do you want?" The corners of Huxs mouth dropped and his eyebrows came closer to eachother. He rubs the place between them, like it would prevent him from getting wrinkles. _I_ _will soon have them if I don't stop spending time with that idiot_.

 

"Eyerytime YOU are around, I get into trouble, you know that?" Kylo threw an arm up in the air like a bad actor doing an "angry" expression. _That's what he is being a bitch about?!_ "Didn't take you for someone  superstitious, I have to admit...” He took an longer drag this time and blew it into Rens direction as he stepped next to the black haired one beside the car, to gently stop his hand from opening the door. _Black nail polish_ , the noticed, _really?_ Hux looked around, like an ashtray would suddenly appear out of nowhere. He still had half a cigarette and didn't want to waste his last packet so soon. “Would you hold that for a moment, I have got something for you” Hux almost whispered as charmingly as he was able, not wanting to make Kylo angrier than he seemed to be on a daily basis. 

 

Of course, the idiot got flustered, nodded and held the cigarette in his hand. Hux squatted down to open his backpack to search the present he had hidden, in case his fathers personal went through his stuff. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Kylo gesturing towards his mouth and Hux simply nodded at him, looking up. Kylo told him once that he rarely smoked, but given the oppurtunity... Kylo closed his eyes, he was indeed wearing eyeliner, and held the smoke in his lungs. Hux was still staring at him from this unflattering position when slowly blows it out, cheeks hallowing.

 

Of course in this exact moment Kylos mother had to leave the house to walk their bear-like looking moster of a dog. “ BENJAMIN SOLO WHAt on earth do you think you're doing?!” Kylo jumped and threw the cigerette away. “O h shit, oh shit” he cursed and grabbed Hux to stand up. “Get into the car” he commanted and hurried to sit on the drivers seat to escape the confrontation. They could see his mother in the mirror with an absolutely horrified expression on her face. She even had her hand held over her gaping mouth. Hux found it to be abit overdone, but his own father wasn't exactly the relaxed type either. So he said nothing. 

 

 

After a while of silence Hux found the package and held it in his hands on his lap, looking down. He cleared his voice and wanted to say something but Kylo didn't even spare him a look. His face was still abit flushed when he snapped “I won't get into another car crash because of you” Those definetly sounded like his mothers words in his mouth. “See now you call it a car crash, too.” Hux tried to not make it sound like he was making fun of him, which was hard enough. “What did you want anyway?” He asked in a calmer voice now, seeing that there was no use fighting or ignoring now. He only signed in frustration. Hux reached down to open the present himself and pulled out the black band shirt he got for Kylo. He held it up so Kylo could see the print on it. “You got me a The Cure shirt? Fucking The Cure.” Hux couldn't make out whether Kylo was happy about this but he seemed like he didn't get enough oxygen. “Why?” Hux tried to sound neutral about it “You have been wearing the same band shirt the whole week and I figured it wouldn't hurt to have something new to wear. Happy Birthday by the way” Kylo was speechless.

 

“The Cure... That's a fucking GOTH band! Hux! I'm EMO... gosh.” Kylo made an motion like he wanted to push his hair out of his face but his hair wasn't even long enough for that. Hux honestly felt so attacked right now, he didn't know what to say.

They finally parked next to the school building and he noticed Kylo stopping himself as he leaned over to- _what? Hug him?_ Hux hesitated and stiffed in his seat. “Still, thank you.” Kylo didn't say it as formal as Hux wished he would have and created eye contact again. “So you will wear it?” It takes Kylo a moment to get what he means.  _Why the hell is he all hot and bothered?_ he nods at the shirt in his lab and rolls his eyes at him, hiding a smirk. “Ah, yes... I guess I'll have to listen to. Don't want those Goth kids to spit on me in puplic.” Hux hummed slightly “Does that mean you'd like to be spitted at in private?” Kylo muttered something about him being a sadistic bastard and Hux actually giggled. 

 

“You know it was actually Phasmas idea. Since you were abit jealous after I mentioned us being close.” Hux tried to read his reaction to that. Kylo took a deep breath “Apology accepted.” Kylo eyed him and Hux did the best he could to grin at him, swallowing his pride this one time. _For Phasma._ But Kylo wasn't buying it. “ Can I ask you two things?” Hux simply nodded, wondering what would follow. “Why pink?” Kylo looked at the hair, not at his face and Hux found that he was prettier when he wasn't angry. “I saw it on Tumblr and I like Swim Deep. Their drummer inspired the hairstyle.” 'Hux lectured and Kylo eyed him, still skeptical but decided to let it go. After another moment of silence Kylo speaks up. “I wish my hair looked like yours.” Hux snorted at that “You can't be serious.” Kylo let his hand travel and for a moment, he played with a single strain of Huxs hair. Hux asked “And what was your second question?”. He bit his lip but Kylo wouldn't move his hand away. “I wanted to ask you for your phone number, actually.”

 


	5. Pink Milkshakes

On the way home Kylo recalled all the things that he had done today, piled them up into a mental bucket list of things he could write in his diary. Wanting to become some sort of writer some day he tried to fill the pages of his black notebook as fast as he could. Most days were pretty boring, so he just descibed his dark twisted fantasies (like running away some day) or he made notes for poems he was going to write, someday, eventually. But on this day Kylo felt like he had to reflect on his ordinary school day. Because that was all he could think about.

 

He sat next to Hux in biology, they ate lunch together and even waited in the hallway for eachother... Well, Technically Kylo alone iniliated all of those situations but it wasn't like Hux didn't enjoy his company. Atleast he didn't say anything like that and Hux, honest and shorttempered as he is, definetly would have. Instaed of bitching at Kylo and complaing he just spent the day complaining, whcih was a start he guessed. So yeah, Kylo pretty much only thought about his time together with Hux, over and over again like he was trying to solve a puzzle and overlooked a piece. He couldn't understand why, though. Lost in thought and as he arrived at the door of his home, he realzed he had almost forgotten that there was trouble waiting for him inside. As soon as he stood at the frontdoor the thought of what happened earlier this morning came to mind. “shit” he muttered to himself, annoyed that he had to deal with his mother right now. His father was faster to give up on any parenting method but you didn't want to fuck with his mum.

 

 

“Honey, come here please.” his mothers firm demand is as expected the first thing kylo gets to hear when he open the door and fails to sneak into his room quietly. They lived in a old house with noisy wooden floors that gave him away. Oh, how he hated living here. One last sharp inhale excapes his throat before he entered the livingroom that has suddenly become more humid than usual. What is it with the air these days.

 

His mother was gracefully sitting at their dining table, her torso facing him intentionally to give him the feeling of welcomeness. Kylo knew her tricks by now. She even made his father be present for this conversation. She must be really fucking mad, then. Han, who clearly doesn't want to be here, wants to be anywhere but here right now right now, was leaning against the counter, sipping a glass of water in a nervous fashion.

 

“Sit down”, Kylo threw his backack on the floor and sat on the chair thats farest away from his mothers spread out hand on the table, “Be...Kylo.” she corrected herself before Kylo could say something. For him, his first name was like a match to an pot of explosives. It never ends well. “Listen, your father and I have been discussingt that little incident in the driveway earlier” she spoke calmly to not provoke him into storming off right away. “Yeah, Sugarcoat it some more, would you?.” His _father_ huffed an amused, slightly unbelieving breath and Kylo didn't get his fathers sudden concerns because of a _cigarette_. From him Kylo expected one of those When I Was Your Age stories about how You Teenagers These Days blabla.

 

Leia shot Han a glace that would even shut the most engaged politician up. “Mom before you begin, i can explain this. Look, okay you caught me this one time but i swear i don't do this often. Only sometimes after school on the drive home but never in my room.” he stopped, jumped because his father had just dropped the glass, scherben flying all over the now wet floor. His mother too shocked to react stares at Kylo with her mouth in a very thin line. “Jesus fucking hell oh my” “Han”, she interrupted his swearing at his soaking socks, “just” and she didn't find the right words, turning her attention back at Kylo again. “This isn't what this is about darling. See, If this _thing_ is what all this drama the past years has been about i can guarantee you Honey that we don't have a problem with that. We love you no matter what. We just would have found it nice to find out about it diffently...you could have talked to us” Since she couldn't hold his hand under the table she reached out to stroke his cheek, carefully like he would bite and he could feel her hands sweating. “M'kay” he shiftet in his seat moving away from his mother as far as he could without falling of the chair and into the mess of sharp glass on the floor. _Even though that would be more comfortable than this,_ he tried not to laugh during an argument like this, with his mother almost apologizing for her ignorance towards him all those years. It felt like a triumph. Almost. “Wait. I am not finished.” she commended his father carefully stepping closer with his hands on his hip like an actual disappointed parent.

 

Kylo couldn't believe it. “As much as we tolerate your sexual orientation it is under no means acceptable for you to let your boyfriend get you into habits like that, Kylo! Not as long as we want you to live under this roof” What has been hot before now felt ice cold and then he was burning again, with emberrasment, “Wait, what?! What are you talking about? What has smoking a cigarette, that didn't even belong to me by the way,” he inhaled deeply as his voice began to rise “ anything to do with Hux, who is also not my fucking _boyfriend?_ What the fuck!” he stood now, his chair has fallen into the pfütze that still contains some broken glass. “Don't you dare talk to you mother like that, Ben. She's doing her best here. ” Han snapped back at him and Kylo decided to let it go, picked the chair back up and sat back down, hugging his own arm, hidden away beneath the shirt and hair. “You're always this goddamn difficult son. First this whole black leather pants gang thing and now you just ran off like that with your not-boyfriend who got you into smoking and probably that car accident too ?” Han threw his hands up, shook his hand wildly like someone who just didn't know anymore. Kylo was just as confused. “We were just very worried my dear” “Wait, what?! You still think this is some kind of stupid phase? This is who I am, Moom and Hux doesn't have anything to do with it!”

 

 _My parents really thought i would date that ass like no mhhh niope never. I kinda liked him once, sure but that was just Ben discovering that he likes boys and lonely as he was Hux had been the only one around._ Blinded by embarresment, rage and a weird itching feeling of regret he didn't realize he stood up and threw the chair over again “God, i hate you. I hate this family. I wish, I wish you were all fucking dead.” he stomped out of the room, left his bag there in the water _fuck it_ and shouted one last “And he is not my boyfriend Ugh” that was louder than his bedroom door that he slammed shut.

 

Kylo lets himself fall on the bed, lays until the tension in his shoulders begins to fade and rolls over to reach for his phone to find that 1. his eye makeup was smudged and 2. he had 4 missed messages from phasma and one from hux. Great

 

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Kylo Kylo r u there?

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Don't forget about or date on the weekend lmao

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Or how about today, 3 pm usual place and bring rollerblade ;)

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Mind if Hux comes to?

KyLo_Red666: That's a joke right?

 

 

He noticed that he still didn't have a fun name for Hux on his phone. He changes his name to Lil' Weasley and his ringtone should be "Rich Girl" by Gwen Stefani.

 

 

Lil' Weasley: I hope you like Milkshakes fucker, we're getting some today

 

 

Kylo guesses he has no other choice. He rolled over to blast _The Plan (F**k Jobs)_ by The Front Bottoms and sings to it while getting dressed. He has to think about Hux and wears the shirt he bought for him. It still smells more like Hot Topic and less like Hux which shouldn't disappont him

 

 

Kylo is ten minutes late, rushes into the small ice cafe/ bar and spots Hux sitting in the corner...alone. As soon as Kylo is in his reach Hux lifts his head from his hand where he rested ot clearly bored from waiting. Before Kylo can come up with some excuse Hux intterups him with a short “She ditched us.” Phasma? Why would she... “What?” “She's NEVER late and usually doesn'  
't have any time onfriday, because of training. She clearly tricked us to meet her.” Kylo is abit surprised at the train of thoughsts and sits down, letting his shoulders hang. “But why though?” “Have you told her that we... get along again?” Hux swallows the word like they layed bitter on his tongue and sits up straight just to lean back in his chair again. “No” Kylo say and realization hits him. Hux must have seen this by the expression he makes and shakes his head “Evil satans spawn.”

 

“Mhhh... Well we're here now so we can atleast, like, hangout.” Hux gave him the look the liberary lady gave him wherever she saw him. Peaking her ice cold eyes up behind her thick glasses. That's how Hux looked right now. “I see you waer it after all” Huxs features soften so fast its actually sary, even a smile creeps onto his lips. Sometimes he wonders which part of the boy is an act. And if Hux could ever like him too. That way „Uhm yeah“ Kylo mumbles, trying to sound cool when the waitress came up to him Kylo panicks abit. He should have picked out an order by now. Instead she placed a huge glass infront of his nose and another infront of Hux. „I took the liberty to order for you I guess everybody likes milkshakes. Your not allergic to blueberrys are you? I have strawberry if you want to switch.“ Kylo could simply shake his head once and Hux shook his shulder once and began sluroing on his strw, smirking and purposely making eyecontact with Kylo. Kylo doesn't know why he can't get a word out right now. He's confused with emotions, his chest feels heavy and his throat dry. He takes a sip of the milkshake flavour which was not the worst he's ever had but he's more the chocolate type. He would have thought Hux might be into vanilla, though. 

 

They sit in silent for a while, drinking and kind of trying not to look at eachother. Atleast not as subtle. First Kylo looks at his oppoments face when back on the table and catches, out of the corner of his eyes, the way huxs eyes flicker back at him and way when he notices that he's looking. The result is some kind of not.staring competition that none of them could really win. They keep this dance up until actually chokes on a blueberry and coughes, Huxs smirks at him like "I won"

 

"Are you alright Ren? You're crying all your makeup off. Not like you don't do this often, right?" "I'm argh fine." "As much as I enjoy having peace from your constant whining. Would you like to start a conversaton?" "You're a strange kid." "Pff... I'm older than you." "Still, you're like... I've never met someone like you before. Don't know if it's because you're a psycho or because I like, you know, I like having you around and all." Kylo doesn't know where this is coming from but he suddenly feels like coming clean. Wants to get rid of this feeling, just let it wash away and make Huxs stuck up self let go to, so they can be free together. God, Kylo wished he had a pen with him right now to write that down.

 

"Who knows" Hux attempts at joking but Kylo doesn't laugh. "The past few days were some of the nicest I had in a long time. Even though you dragged my ass through the dirt a lot of the times. I guess atleast we have some fun together in this miserable, cold ,cold world..." "Kylo to the pont please" Hux blasts more curious than annoyed which was a surprise for the both of them. Kylo plays with his straw and avoids looking at him. "See my parents said this thing... well they believed that you and me were sort of dating." he spoke slowly and waited for Huxs reaction but there was none so he continued "The thing is that I didn't hate the idea completely." Kylo got frustrated now, wanting Hux to give him some sign of rejection or whatever. But he just kept on drinking, leaned over the table and Kylo hadn't realized how close he was.

 


	6. un peu insensible

KyLo_Red666: honestly i'm so mad at u

KyLo_Red666: what kind of friends does something like that

KyLo_Red666: i know you don't care but at least answer me

 

KyLo_Red666: Phas?

xX_Phsm@_Xx: lol was it really that bad?

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Something really came up I'm sorry I wanted to hang wu

xX_Phsm@_Xx: What happened?

 

Throwing his the Cure shirt into a dark corner of his room, Kylo wandered over to his bed to let himself fall down on the Darth Vader blanket spread out there, once again feeling betrayed and rejected by his friends as well as fucked over by life in general. The agony he felt was steadily raising, as he recalled the most recent embarassing experience he had made that he could add to his collection of unpleasant memories, file it right with the angst department.

 

KyLo_Red666: hux is such an ass

KyLo_Red666: I basically told him i like him like like like u know

xX_Phsm@_Xx: And how did he react?

KyLo_Red666: He didn't react at all

KyLo_Red666: I would have handled rejection but this is worse

KyLo_Red666: it was so awkward i want to curl up into a ball and become a black hole so i can suck myself into the abyss

xX_Phsm@_Xx: jeez kylo

KyLo_Red666: ...

 

xX_Phsm@_Xx: I'm not making fun of you!

 

xX_Phsm@_Xx: Kylo???

 

He was so tired of it all. For a brief moment he considered writing everything down in his diary but he didn't feel like he was in the right mood for it. Now he was just laying there, shivering a little since he was shirtless, too tired to wipe of his make up but at the same time not wanting to dirty his Star Wars bed covers and he felt like his life was falling apart under him. There was a knot in his throat he couldn't swallow and his mind was hazy from wanting to cry but being unable to. He was beginning to feel the exhaustion of the day weight down on him, surely making him fall asleep soundly and soon enough the boy was drooling on the blanket with his childhood hero on it, smearing cheap eyeliner everywhere.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux had barely been home for 10 minutes, thank fuck his father was still on his bussiness trip, as he already got an angry phone call from a worried platinum blonde.

"What do you mean? He was _devastated_?", he put emphasis on the word on purpose, so even Phasma could hear how ridiculous it sounded to put it that way. Rolling his eyes he kept listening as she rampled on about how Kylo had been ignoring her. "Sounds like attention-whoring to me...", he muttered and held the speaker away from his ear, the expected shouting from the other side already began to form. Rubbing his eyes he waited for her to calm down and when asked, voice strained and with earnest curiosity, "And what am I supposed to do about that? He got my reaction the wrong way, so what? It's not my fault he has a low self esteem." _This is becoming unbearable. Maybe I should just play along._ "Okay, okay, I'll text him...", the sound of his own stomach growling interrupted him, "...later." _Maybe,_ he thought and then he finally managed to end the phone call with his friend.

 

_First: Food, then: Kylo_ , he considered the kitchen, the fridge and the cupboards but were wasn't even any bread in the fucking house. He settled on a bowl of cornflakes and took a look at his phone. It obviously wasn't time for breakfast but it wasn't like he ate breakfast everyday, still the poor cereal had to be eaten by someone and he was all alone during this time of the day. He wondered if there was some secret whisky cabinet he could break into but threw the thought away as he remembered why he had taken his phone out in the first place. _Right. First: Food, then: Kylo_

 

* * *

 

 

He didn't know how long he had been out but it couldn't have been very long since it wasn't very dark outside yet, he also still felt very tired then the Gwen Stefani ringtone he had selected for Hux began to play shortly but loud enough to shake him out of his rest. Unlocking his phone he saw it had only been a short message from him and that there were also texts from Phasma he hadn't read before.

 

Lil' Weasley: u ok?

 

The darker haired boy considered ignoring his attempts, it would be easiest to just not react at all and let him have a taste of his own medicine, but he doubted Hux would get behind this logic by himself and even if he did, the former ginger probably wouldn't give a shit.

 

KyLo_Red666: sure'm fine

 

Kylo pictured Hux and what the was doing at the moment, surely he would hold his phone with one hand, typing only with mild interest while he was counting money with the other hand or devilishly stroking a black kitten. No a panther. With an eyepatch on.

 

Lil' Weasley: Cut the crap. Phasma has let me know you're upset.

 

Inwardly cursing himself for telling Phasma anything he growle into his pillow and then procceeded to throw it across the room against the bedroom door, flinging his FOB poster off the fall again. Great, now he would have to get up, get his pillow because he couldn't sleep without it and hang up Pete Wentz on his bedroom door once again. Also his friends were annoying as hell. _I don't have to answer, I don't, I don't._

 

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_ , the ringtone started again and Kylo almost had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

 

Lil' Weasley: Don't you think you're overreacting juste un peu?

 

 

It made Kylo even angrier that he didn't know what this meant, he also couldn't understand how Hux could be so cruel. If he recalled his words correctly he had very directly stated to him that he liked him and he was given sights that the feeling was mutual so why the fuck was Hux acting so ambiguous now?

 

Now he felt that it was reasonable to choose to ignore the other. He would have to get his explaination by direct and personal confrontation, something he felt the ohter dreaded but he wouldn't let him hide behind a screen when Kylo's young teenager heart was on the line. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I'm sorry that after all this time all I'm delivering is crap


End file.
